Never Forget What Will Always Be
by GohanRules
Summary: *In memory to those who lost their lives on 9/11* It's okay to remember the people you have lost. But sometimes you also have to remember those you gained.


**Author's note: **Alright, so this is something I just finished writing about an hour before posting. I've had my mind set on writing this for a few days now, and I just couldn't let this pass by me. This is just my way of honoring those who lost their live on September 11, 2001. I'll never forget that terrible day. I hope my feelings towards those who gave up their lives that day show through clearly with this story. I hope you enjoy this.

**Warnings: **Not really anything but angst.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Big Time Rush.

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><p>Green eyes stared deeply into the mirror as Kendall tightened his tie around his neck until it was barely above choking. He looked himself up and down, an emotionless expression remaining on his face as he flattened the material over his sleeves and legs. He checked one final to make sure his hair was still perfectly gelled back. Once he deemed himself ready, the blond sighed heavily and made his way out of his room.<p>

Every step he took down the stairs created a boisterous squeak that penetrated through the silent morning atmosphere. As he finally reached the bottom, he shifted his head from side to side in search of his mom and little sister. There was no sight of them as he walked into the living room. The only thing that was able to catch his eye was the muted TV playing. His eyes widened as he saw an image of black, swollen puffs of smoke escaping the side of a tall skyscraper as an ongoing onslaught words and numbers zoomed by in the little, blue banner on the bottom. The teen speed walked over to the big screen and shut it off completely. He closed his eyes as his fists tightened and ground his teeth rhythmically. He could feel his chest tightening to a level far beyond that of even the tie he had on as his blanched knuckles made a cracking sound due to the force of his fist.

"Kendall?"

The blond snapped his head up to the direction of the voice. He saw his mother standing with a hand up to her mouth wearing a simples black dress with matching shoes and gloves. Kendall frowned sadly at his mom as he blinked away the tears that threatened to fall.

"Oh, Kendall!" mama Knight cried as she hurriedly made her way over to her son and wrapped her arms around him. Kendall encircled his own arms around his mother and breathed in slowly as his mother began whispering calming words into his ear. After a long minute of the embrace, the two pulled apart to see the youngest of their small Knight Clan standing just mere feet away from them. Katie was clad in the identical clothing as her mother, the only exception being that instead of wearing black heels, she was wearing black flats. Kendall smiled softly at how beautiful his baby sister looked before he pushed the thought away.

"Are you both ready? The boys should be here any minu-"

_DING DONG!_

Mama Knight chuckled slightly at the perfect timing those boys always had. She walked over to the front door and didn't even bother checking to see who it was as she swung the door open. She was met with three teenage boys dressed in black suits, all offering her small smiles. They weren't the excited, megawatt smiles she was used to, but the comforting yet sad ones she was used to seeing only once a year. She gave each of them a small hug and kiss on the forehead as they entered the house. The three boys walked over to Kendall and Katie. They offered the ten year old small smiles and pats on the head, to which she mumbled annoyed at.

However, the atmosphere was noticeably tenser once they reached Kendall. Logan was the first to act. He stepped forward and brought Kendall into the tightest embrace he could manage without breaking anything. Kendall didn't care that his suit was probably getting wrinkled, and he returned the strong hug around his best friend. James and Carlos followed Logan's example and took their own turns hugging the saddened blond. Mama Knight wiped away the lone tear from her cheeks and called for the boys' and Katie's attention. She stated they were going to be late if they remained here any longer, and ushered them out of the door.

The fit inside the car was a tight squeeze. Mama Knight drove and Katie took up shotgun as the four teenage boys shared the back. Their legs touched and they were practically on each other's laps, but they were way too close emotionally to even notice the physical closeness. The half hour drive was quiet, the only sounds ever being detected being the occasionally sneeze and "God bless you".

Kendall's eyes shifted to see out the window. He watched as the blurred streaks of colors melded together to form an incomprehensible view of the terrain the zoomed past. His view raised a little to look up at the gray sky above them. The sun remained imperceptible behind the fast-moving, wispy blanket of clouds. Kendall felt the car slow down and stared forward to see they had finally arrived. He sighed inaudibly through his nose as he heard the sound of the car doors opening. The boys practically filed out of the backseat, their backs and legs making several popping sounds and their muscles reveling in the freedom of the open space.

None of them needed to be told where to go as they walked down the trail. They passed dozens of tombstones, each one having a different message cared onto the surface, yet all of them harboring the same message of love and remembrance. The group walked off the trail and onto the grass as they neared their destination. The soft, lush grass beneath their shoes ruffled as they stopped walking. They remained silent as they stared down at the small tombstone. They all read the words carved on as if it was the first time they did so.

_Richard Knight (1970-2001)_

_Husband, father, and a true hero_

Mrs. Knight walked forward, pulling Katie along with her as she openly let her tears fall. She crouched down daintily and balanced herself by holding on to the gravestone. The four teenagers behind the two females couldn't make out the words being said by the older woman, but they could easily read the sadness behind them through the face she had plastered on. She kissed her palm and softly placed it over the name before standing up and hugging Katie close to her. The brunette woman looked back at the boys and nodded before walking away with Katie, most likely heading back for the car.

Logan, James, and Carlos waited for Kendall to make a move, but the blond remained still, showing no sign that he was about to say anything. They figured their friend might need a little coaxing before openly letting his feelings out. This time, Carlos was the first to do something. He cleared his throat, effectively getting the others' attention.

"Um, hi Mr. Knight. You might not recognize me, but I'll just reintroduce myself in case you forgot who I am. I'm Carlos, one of Kendall's best friends. Uh…I just wanted to say that although we've never met, I really look up to you," Carlos began. He looked to the side to see three pairs of eyes looking at him. He turned back down to the engraving on the stone and breathed in deeply.

"My dad's a policeman, so I know how it feels to go to bed praying that your dad will be alright, hoping that tonight isn't the night something goes wrong. I'm one of the lucky kids. My dad's still here and healthy to reassure me that he's not going anywhere. I can't imagine how hard it must be for Kendall. Anyways, I just wanted to thank you. Thank you for being willing to give up your life so that others could keep theirs."

The Latino wiped away the moisture on his cheeks. He hadn't expected his own words to hit him so hard. Everything he said was completely honest. Out of the three of them, Carlos was probably the one who could relate the most to Kendall's situation. Logan and James smiled sympathetically at their short friend before turning the other way towards Kendall. The blond was obviously avoiding any eye contact. James figured this was his sign to make his own move.

"I want to say something too," the tall brunet admitted. Logan and a still teary eyed Carlos nodded their approval at him before he continued.

"I have no idea what it feels to lose a parent. Actually, I have no idea what it feels like to lose _anyone _close to me. But my parents are divorced. Obviously, that's not as tough as actually knowing you'll never see your dad or you mom. I live with my mom, and I only get to see my dad a few times a year. What I'm trying to get at here is that you've made me appreciate my dad. Some kids aren't lucky enough to have their parent's around at all. Why should I mope around and complain about the little time I get with mine? So, thank you. For showing me that you can't take anything for granted. If you do, you might find it to be gone without warning the next day," James finished as he stared down at the space between his two dress shoes. His face was tight and unfocused as if his mind was somewhere else momentarily. He was snapped out of his daze by a light weight on his shoulder. He looked up at Logan's reassuring smile and nodded as he mouthed a "thank you".

The spiky-haired teenager nodded and wasted no time. He had lots to say, and he wanted to get all of his feelings out before he lost his chance. His voice was gentle and soothing as he spoke in a calm tone.

"I guess it's my turn. I've never done this, so I'm sorry if I do something wrong. I'm Logan by the way, in case you forgot. I've always wanted to speak to you, but there's just so much to say; I didn't know where to begin. First of all, I want to say that although we've never met, I'll never forget you. I'll never forget any of the brave people just like you who selflessly gave everything up for the sake of others. Thank you for being a true hero," Logan whispered the last part quietly. He looked over to Kendall who was looking right back at him sadly, a deep frown settled onto his face.

"I also want to thank you for being a father to Kendall. I'm sure that it's because of you that he's grown up to be the person he is today. And you'll be glad to know that he's grown up to be a strong, kind, and courageous leader. I don't know where Carlos, James, and I would be if it weren't for him. Actually, I think we'd all be in jail right now if it weren't for him," Logan smiled widely as his last statement got a chuckle from the other three.

"I may to relate to any of the pain Kendall goes through like Carlos and James can, but I do feel pain. It's tough to see my best friend, my _brother_, have to deal with this. But luckily, he doesn't have to do it alone. We're all her for him. He knows that. I just want to make sure _you_ know that. I want to leave here knowing that you know we'll keep Kendall safe and sound just as he's done for us. We promise we'll take care of him. God knows he's too busy taking care of others. Maybe it's a Knight thing."

Logan finished with his own small chuckle. His little speech seemed to have relaxed Kendall enough to be able to look up at the etching on the stone. The three patiently waited for the blond to finally share his own thoughts. They watched as their proclaimed leader took a hesitant step forward.

"Hi dad…it's been a while, huh? I'm sorry I haven't been coming more often lately. It's just too hard for me. I promise to come more from now on, okay?" the tall teen turned around and was met with three encouraging smiles. He nodded his head and turned his gaze back to the etching on the headstone. He fought to speak around the large lump in his throat as he felt slight prickles travelling down both his cheeks.

"I guess you've already met my friends. What do you think? I sure can pick 'em, huh?" Kendall released a shaky chuckle.

The chuckle slowly changed into a fit of sobs and the teen lost all strength in his legs. He fell down and his knees hit the soft grass harshly as he continued to wail loudly. James and Carlos made a move to help their friend up, but were held back by Logan. They turned to him and he merely shook his head in the negative. Meanwhile, the blond on the floor was hysterical as he tightly held on to the stone a short foot away from his face.

"I miss you so much. We all do! I need you, please! Mom needs you! Katie needs a dad too! I can't be her brother _and_ her dad forever. I'm not like you. You can do anything! Why can't you come back?"

James, Carlos, and Logan flinched at the last sentence. The three were already in tears at the sight in front of them, but they had to let Kendall do this. He couldn't keep hiding his emotions like he's been doing.

"When I was little, I used to brag to all of my friends about how cool you were. They wouldn't believe me when I told them my dad was a firefighter. But remember when you picked me up from kindergarten in your uniform? All of the kids wanted to be my friend the next day. I know you did that on purpose. Please dad, I don't think I can do this anymore…," Kendall stared at his father's name through his tears as he spoke. His shoulders continued shaking as he waited for a response. He stayed relatively still for a whole minute, but nothing happened. His dad wasn't coming back. What was he thinking? He let go of the tombstone and fell back on his bottom. He pulled his knees up and hugged his legs as he used them to hide his face. His muffled sobs sounded loudly through the whole cemetery.

Kendall jumped slightly as he felt warmth spread over his body. He looked up to see he was in the middle of a four way group hug. He looked around between his three friends confusedly. His green irises contrasted strongly against the bloodshot red color around them.

"It's okay Kendall," Carlos whispered, his hold on the blond remaining tight.

"We're here with you. You don't have to go through it alone," James offered, him too keeping his hold strong.

Kendall looked away from the two and looked forward to see Logan staring back at him, his own tears escaping his dark, brown eyes.

"It's okay to remember. But don't forget that we're your family now too," the brunet assured him.

Kendall smiled as he brought his own arms around the three and pulled them in closer. His cries didn't stop. In fact, they rose in volume. But this time, they were laced with more than just sadness and loss. You could clearly hear the hope and love behind them as well.

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><p><strong>I hope you guys enjoyed reading this. It was pretty hard to write. Please review and show your respect for those who lost their lives on 911. **

**-Gohanrules out!**


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